Liz as a kid and teenager

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Elizabeth Thayer (Ruse)

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The Full Obituary

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Elizabeth Ann Thayer (nee Ruse) - November 22nd, 1935 - October 13th, 2018 Liz Thayer; feminist, psychotherapist, mother, imperfectionist, folkie, poet, friend, New Yorker (at heart), and a great appreciator of irony and paradox. It is with the heaviest of hearts and much grief that we share that Liz passed Saturday the 13th of October. She died at home with little struggle. She entered into hospice care roughly a month before her death having been diagnosed with colon cancer in mid-August. There is some comfort in knowing that she was never in any great amount of pain. She was also not alone when she passed (her greatest fear). She will be so greatly and so sorely missed. Born in Lansing, Michigan in 1935 at the height of the depression. Lizzy, her parents nick-name for her, was the only child of David and Grace Ruse. Her parents clearly provided for her well being, buying her enough cashmere sweaters to be voted “best dressed” in high school and sending her to MSU to pursue...
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Poem by Donna Becker

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Dying in California for Liz I knock, peer through the bent Venetian blinds, hear your melodic call and step in to visit, settling on the low yellow chair. You wear your cotton flowered nightgown naked underneath. You get up to go to the john; you are so thin now and weak. We can’t go out for a martini because the doctors won’t let you. When we have a martini again it will be because it is too late to matter. You take out your teeth as if to tell me death is amongst us, we need not pretend. The new doctor said it might not be cancer. We know it is, but his kindness that offers another week of denial is kindness beyond value. You say how lucky to be an existentialist to have thought about death before - if only for 5 minutes. You talk of the love lives of your sons. Their crying time is over , you say. We don’t say their crying time to come will be different. It’s a comfort you say to be with someone who knows why I love New York. Rocking along on the sub...
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